Note: This is the flip side to my recent post ‘Don’t take things personally’
I have a wish. It is for all of us to judge less, or even better, not at all. We are all on our own path, and we can’t possibly understand everyone else’s. Blimey, we can’t even navigate our own road sometimes!
Is it about us or them?
When we judge are we really just reflecting ourselves? Does it have nothing to do with the other person at all? We make so many mindless comments, sometimes just to make conversation, and these comments can be really damaging. Even if they are in jest. But mostly I think they are damaging for the person making the comments. This isn’t just about face to face communication either, it is also about how we behave behind people’s back and online too. The same rules apply. Sharing a ‘funny’ video that shames someone to me is the same as pointing a negative finger in real life. It all puts us in a negative, judgemental mindset. And why would we want that? Why carry around all those niggles and bugbears of other people?
Love or Grumpiness?
Instead, why not create a mindset of love around ourselves? I know it can sound like a cliche or a bit trite, but it’s worth hearing again. Give out positive thoughts to others and they will reflect back on ourselves too. I think we would end up being kinder to ourselves as well as to our fellow humans. And wouldn’t that be a great thing?
Holding negativity in ourselves whether we aim it outwards or inwards will just hurt ourselves. It isn’t a place of growth, support or love. And for all the anger and negativity we can come across, I am convinced that all any of us really wants is real human connection and love.
So we have to start with us. With our inner world. Then we can shine that love outwards.
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I have read many things about being careful with what we say. My favourite advice is from a book called ‘The Four Agreements’, which I have mentioned before in my post ‘Don’t take things personally’. The book describes four agreements to make with yourself to lead a happier existence. The first agreement is ‘be impeccable with your word’. In other words, do good with your words, to yourself and to others. It is one of those wonderful books that you understand more and more each time you read it. It has been a game changer for me.
I highly recommend it.