The Power of Accountability
Two Versions of Me
This week’s blog is about the two versions of me I have noticed in myself recently.
The first is Brave-T. She drives me towards my goals and dreams, no matter what. Then there is Protective-T who sounds helpful right? and in certain situations I am sure she is. For example, choosing to not jump into a lions den. But for something not so life threatening – like singing in front of people – she is not that useful.
And there is more to Protective-T than meets the eye. She is fearful and attempts to hold me back. Her techniques involve throwing out one-liners like ‘Better the devil you know!’ She also mixes in different emotions to throw me off. Protective-T is brilliant at making me think I don’t need to step out of my comfort zone because I don’t really care about whatever subject I’m pushing myself in. She does this very cleverly and tries to keep me where I am, nice and safe – as the unknown can be scary 😉 Of course in reality it usually isn’t, but as it’s unknown caution kicks in, just in case!
Because I know that Protective-T can win occasionally, I have found a way to give more strength to Brave-T. I ask another human being to join me, this way I am accountable to them and I can’t wriggle my way out at the last minute.
This is especially efficient for me when the person is not a close friend or family member. I can too easily get away with things with people who love me! Whereas I wouldn’t want to show so much fear to a new friend or acquaintance. This is why I have posted here about my goals too.
Bravery v Fear
I much prefer to show my brave side, than my scared side to new people. Luckily my Brave-T knows this! And books things so I have to commit. Dates go into diaries, and before I know it I am standing in front of a microphone singing two songs with my new guitarist friend! And we survived. Of course.
My very 1st open mic was the friendliest event! Seeing very friendly faces in the audience, supportive and smiling, did wonders to calm me. I was even rewarded with a big hug from a lovely fellow singer who knew I had been nervous before-hand.
Brave-T feels happy and contented. Protective-T has learned a valuable lesson in bravery. So onto the next one. We were requested to come back again with more songs.
And we shall 😉
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Update July ’17: I am currently reading ‘The Chimp Paradox’ by Dr Steve Peters, and it explains these 2 versions of ourselves brilliantly. And it does indeed recommend accountability with another person. Happy reading!